Self-Pity vs Responsibility
Video Notes
Self-Pity has been correlated with:
Self-Pity is founded on the assumption that “I am a victim.” That foundation needs to change in order to overcome self-pity.
We have to move from an External Locus of Control to an Internal Locus of Control.
The replacement behavior for self-pity is: Responsibility Taking.
For some reason the “Responsibility Taking” mechanism for humans is “off.” We tend to either blame other people for our stuff OR we wrongly take upon ourselves the blame that belongs to others.
It is a sign of maturity when we can accurately take appropriate responsibility for our situation.
Recommendation:
Finally, learn the Serenity Prayer:
- Depression
- Externality Beliefs = Everything that affects me is happening outside of me, and I have no control or power over it. I cannot change it. = Helplessness.
- Internalized Anger
- Increased Rumination – thinking about something over and over and over.
- Loneliness
- Distrust
Self-Pity is founded on the assumption that “I am a victim.” That foundation needs to change in order to overcome self-pity.
We have to move from an External Locus of Control to an Internal Locus of Control.
- An External Locus of Control sees everything that happens to me as being in the power of things outside of me – life just kind of happens.
- An Internal Locus of Control asks: “What can I do about the things that happen to me?” “What can I do to manage this problem?”
The replacement behavior for self-pity is: Responsibility Taking.
For some reason the “Responsibility Taking” mechanism for humans is “off.” We tend to either blame other people for our stuff OR we wrongly take upon ourselves the blame that belongs to others.
It is a sign of maturity when we can accurately take appropriate responsibility for our situation.
Recommendation:
- List 5 options that might help your current situation.
- Write them down.
- Ask an Accountability Partner, someone you trust, to monitor your efforts to take responsibility for your situation by pursuing your options.
Finally, learn the Serenity Prayer:
Notes & Worksheet
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