Complaining vs Gratitude
Video Notes
Complain - Express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something. (Stuck in the mud.)
Gratitude - The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness (the springboard of life - uplifting)
Complaining is based on a sense of entitlement. (Outraged customers that feel they deserve better.)
Complaining causes a whole plethora of problems:
Think of carrying a cup filled to the brim with negative water. Every added drop causes the cup to spill negative water – constantly making a mess.
In reality, life is not all bad, but it cannot be all good, either. We must deal with both the good and the bad.
We have a choice as to what we are going to focus on.
In the case of the injured cowboy, the pay-off for complaining would have been really bad, and the pay-off for not complaining was really good. So he did not complain. This is almost always the best and healthiest choice under all circumstances – do not complain. There is no good reason or benefit in it.
The replacement behavior for complaining is: GRATITUDE.
When we realize that we really don’t deserve all the blessings that fall all around us and upon us every day of our lives, we start to feel grateful.
Gratitude is a powerful medicine for everyone, but especially for people who are negatively focused.
People who are so consumed with negativity and are constantly complaining make themselves depressed.
Take gratitude like a pill: Every day, morning and evening, think of 3 things for which you are grateful and share your grateful thoughts with another person. (It is amazing how difficult this is for some people.)
Are you grateful for ANYTHING? Often, the problem is not all the problems in one’s life, it is their focus on the problems. Instead of trying to change your problems, change your focus.
A 10-week study on undergrad students who were split into 3 equal groups where all of them were to log of their emotions, but:
Gratitude - It’s worth a try, isn’t it?
Those professed Christians who are constantly complaining, and who seem to think cheerfulness and happiness a sin, have no genuine religion. Those who take a mournful pleasure in all that is melancholy in the natural world; who choose to look upon dead leaves rather than to gather the beautiful living flowers; who see no beauty in grand mountain heights and in valleys clothed with living green; who close their senses to the joyful voice which speaks to them in nature, and which is sweet and musical to the listening ear, -- these are not in Christ. They are gathering to themselves gloom and darkness, when they might have brightness, even the Sun of Righteousness arising in their hearts with healing in his beams. -- EGW, Ministry of Healing, page 251 (1905)
Nothing tends more to promote health of body and of soul than does a spirit of gratitude and praise. It is a positive duty to resist melancholy (sadness), discontented thoughts and feelings (ingratitude), as much a duty as it is to pray. If we are heaven-bound how can we go as a band of mourners, groaning and complaining all along the way to our Father's house? -- EGW
Gratitude - The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness (the springboard of life - uplifting)
Complaining is based on a sense of entitlement. (Outraged customers that feel they deserve better.)
- Entitlement Mentality is another issue that needs to be addressed separately.
Complaining causes a whole plethora of problems:
- Every time you complain you reinforce those negative thoughts.
- Every time you complain the problem gets a little bit bigger in your field of vision (perspective).
- Eventually your entire field of vision is filled with all those negativities.
- Everything you see is a problem.
- You develop a Low Frustration Tolerance
- You overreact to any little aggravation.
Think of carrying a cup filled to the brim with negative water. Every added drop causes the cup to spill negative water – constantly making a mess.
In reality, life is not all bad, but it cannot be all good, either. We must deal with both the good and the bad.
We have a choice as to what we are going to focus on.
- All behavior is operative – we do things because there is a “pay-off.”
- In everything that we do, we are either trying to get something good or avoid something bad.
- Even in negative behaviors that ultimately hurt us, there is, at least temporarily, a pay-off.
- At some level, some people enjoy complaining. It can make them feel a little “righteous.”
In the case of the injured cowboy, the pay-off for complaining would have been really bad, and the pay-off for not complaining was really good. So he did not complain. This is almost always the best and healthiest choice under all circumstances – do not complain. There is no good reason or benefit in it.
The replacement behavior for complaining is: GRATITUDE.
When we realize that we really don’t deserve all the blessings that fall all around us and upon us every day of our lives, we start to feel grateful.
Gratitude is a powerful medicine for everyone, but especially for people who are negatively focused.
People who are so consumed with negativity and are constantly complaining make themselves depressed.
Take gratitude like a pill: Every day, morning and evening, think of 3 things for which you are grateful and share your grateful thoughts with another person. (It is amazing how difficult this is for some people.)
Are you grateful for ANYTHING? Often, the problem is not all the problems in one’s life, it is their focus on the problems. Instead of trying to change your problems, change your focus.
A 10-week study on undergrad students who were split into 3 equal groups where all of them were to log of their emotions, but:
- One group was to write about 5 impacting events.
- Another group was to write about 5 negative things that affected them (hassles).
- Another group was to write about 5 positive things for which they were grateful.
- Had fewer physical complaints than the hassles group.
- Spent more time exercising than both the other groups.
- Take better care of yourself.
- Feeling better, physically.
Gratitude - It’s worth a try, isn’t it?
Those professed Christians who are constantly complaining, and who seem to think cheerfulness and happiness a sin, have no genuine religion. Those who take a mournful pleasure in all that is melancholy in the natural world; who choose to look upon dead leaves rather than to gather the beautiful living flowers; who see no beauty in grand mountain heights and in valleys clothed with living green; who close their senses to the joyful voice which speaks to them in nature, and which is sweet and musical to the listening ear, -- these are not in Christ. They are gathering to themselves gloom and darkness, when they might have brightness, even the Sun of Righteousness arising in their hearts with healing in his beams. -- EGW, Ministry of Healing, page 251 (1905)
Nothing tends more to promote health of body and of soul than does a spirit of gratitude and praise. It is a positive duty to resist melancholy (sadness), discontented thoughts and feelings (ingratitude), as much a duty as it is to pray. If we are heaven-bound how can we go as a band of mourners, groaning and complaining all along the way to our Father's house? -- EGW
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